I can’t but You can.

esarel — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 15:20:11 +0000

I fully understand the concept of “mind-went-blank” yesterday. It literally did. I plunged into a whirlwind of sorrowful sobs right after I got into the car and all I could say in between my heaves and sobs is “I cannot remember”. I really can’t. Two-liners for 10 marks questions, I must be kidding. And I actually mixed up the terms. The worst has to be, the questions are actually pretty easy.

This is the first time I actually feel like crap after a paper.

I shall just pray. For favour and for grace. I can’t but God can.

Revision on the Go – 01

esarel — Sat, 06 Nov 2010 02:35:25 +0000

Sex is biological and it is determined by the presence of male / female genitals and XY chromosomes. However, gender is socially constructed through socialisation by key agents such as family, community, society, traditional beliefs, values and mass media. For example, at a young age, parents will dress a girl in pink dresses, so that the girl will look feminine. A classic example of making women look feminine is the Chinese culture of foot-binding, that would make a girl walk in small steps, believed to be more feminine.

Mass media played an important role in socialisation where men and women are gender-stereotyped to be masculine and feminine respectively. They are also portrayed to be dominant in the public and private sphere. Men are always portrayed in a workplace, in shirt with tie, carrying a briefcase and women in apron, carrying a child in the kitchen.

Times may have changed, more women are establishing successful careers, even in fields that the men dominated, such as the medical and engineering field. However, have we also come to realise that what the society deemed as successful is a women who can balance both her family and career? We cannot deny that the society do frown upon women who are successful in career but did not succeed as well in managing her family. Sometimes, even if the husband is the one who failed in being faithful, she was blamed to have spent too much time at work, therefore, she was unable to keep her husband at bay? Why this disparity?

Species of Hope

esarel — Sat, 06 Nov 2010 02:17:43 +0000

This boy told me that looking into my eyes is a form of making love when I was just telling him that it is disrespectful to speak to someone without even looking at them.

His version of making love is hopelessly different from mine. His command of English definitely needs brushing up. Therefore, I wasn’t offended at all. What he needs is correction of speech and definitely, manners.

I was told that he is one of those who could pass his exams despite his occasional absence from class and his disruptive behaviour in class. He listens to his mother at home. So what made him behave in this manner in school?

A lack of self and social awareness?

Insecurities?

What are the issues children are facing these days?

What am I, without You?

esarel — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 06:55:19 +0000

Being on a road trip gives me the liberty of overpacking and overbuying. There is no baggage limit to that (except for the size of the car). Therefore, I adore road trips! Just the two of us and a car load of stuff, ranging from clothes, daily necessities, books/magazines and food! Therefore, till date, I have been to Johor Bahru, Malacca, Kuala Lumpur, Cherating, Ipoh, Penang, Cameron Highlands and definitely more to come. Great that Malaysia is big.

Many questioned the boldness of two women. Well, I would have to say I am actually very timid. A few things that we packed into our luggages are our Bibles, our daily communion and our faith in Him. Before every drive, we would also anoint the car at four corners with the anointing oil. I believed that He carried us on His wings for every trip. When I am at the wheel, I would be praying in the Spirit and confessing favours and blessings upon us.

What are we without You, Oh Lord?

Project 10

esarel — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 05:58:52 +0000

I would need to begin this right now. Not after my training, not after my exams, not after anything. NOW, I shall begin. I am inspired by myself as I was re-organising my photo albums. Gosh!!! That cannot be history. That healthy-looking eye candy cannot be history!!! No, it shan’t be!!!

As the name suggests, Project 10 must have 10 components (not in sequence) to it too, here it goes:

1. PRAY

What am I without God? I can starve and run to the gates of heaven and still look the same. But things would be different if He is the one right by my side.

2. BELIEVE

So what if I pray till I have scabs on my knees when all I think about after each prayer is “No, it will not happen” or “I am just hoping”… It should be, ” YES, the MIRACLE is HERE!”

3. KEEP ON PRAYING AND BELIEVING

But what happens if it doesn’t come on time? Slimming centres with thousands spent does not have a lifetime guarantee, but I have a lifetime warranty with Him as long as I continue to pray and believe.

4. LISTEN TO THE STOMACH

Yes, it is one of the prompting in the most subtle way… not like a slap in the face or a punch in the stomach. Which do I prefer? Of course, the former. Don’t eat if I don’t feel like it.

5. DRINK UP

For good skin, for hydration.

6. SLEEP

And this is for real. This is a replenishment tool for more energy to do the above five.

7. LET THE MONEY WORK FOR ME

Spent on shoes, spent on running and swimming attires, they should not be left in the drawers to rot. Let them work for me.

8. PLACE 10 EYE-CANDIES ON MY DESK

And it must be myself. Be realistic… Hanging a Stefanie Sun on the wall will only make me bulimic.

Okay, I shall leave 2 components empty for now.

His grace super abounds!

esarel — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 08:36:56 +0000

Two more hours to Penang, I took over the wheels at a pit stop. The traffic was pretty clear and I am sure it is going to be long but straight. But after a good 20 minutes drive, the road started to get winding and up we go on the winding expressway. I can’t stop anywhere for a change on the driver’s seat, we’re on expressway! So you continued to sleep, fighting the altitude and winding car sickness.

I was travelling at an average of 120km/h and went straight into a downpour. Raindrops on the car was deafening and my vision started to blur. Unlike everyone else, I slowed down. Praise God for the rain, there was a police road block right up ahead and LO! I was stopped. My first reaction was apologies.

“You exceed by 2 ah..” and he looked into the car and commented “Woah, nice dashboard”. But seriously, I was driving at tortoise speed compared to the rest, but well, they were stopped too. Right after, he said, “Never mind, you go, you go.” I believed at that time, he was wondering why he said that. But I do know. My God is bigger than this. His grace super abounds!

The skies cleared, the traffic smooth, I drove all the way to Penang, to our hotel.

The Search is Over.

esarel — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 07:20:52 +0000

I am finally unveiling the desire of my heart and in the process of living the dream. I have found a new hobby.

Many people would say it is a game for rich people, it is high class, it makes you look old, etc etc…. Well, they’re right. I would choose to believe I am rich and playing a high class game. It does make me look more mature when I am in serious considerations on the direction to putt. I am in love with golf.

You cannot compare golf with games like badminton and running. That is wrong. Instead, you could compare it with hobbies like travelling, diving, wakeboarding….. And there! It is not that expensive after all.

The love of the game just got deeper when our instructor handed us the tickets to HSBC Womens’ Championship 2010. We witnessed the victory of Japanese golfer, Ai Miyazato and jumped in excitement together with her after she made the winning putt!

Besides the ability to wear really good looking apparel, one other draw is the etiquette we are supposed to have. At every shot, opponents and even spectators were supposed to remain SILENT and stop moving. At this point, you would have no choice but to hold your sneeze because that will draw unsympathetic stares. The power of focus is what you need to conquer the course and the game.

If I have a child, I would sent her to play golf at the age of 5, no doubt. That was when world no. 1 female golfer, Lorena Ochoa started too. There she will learn the etiquettes and be disciplined and that will apply to other aspects of her life. TA-DA! No need for developmental or motivational workshops for the kid!

As I strive on to be better in the game…. I will be on the look-out for nice polo tees and caps to bring along to the beautiful courses of the world.

Wardrobe for Anna Nordqvist for the Honda PTT LPGA in Thailand.

How nice is it to be dressed!

Happiness on 12 April?

esarel — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 08:39:16 +0000

Since the fall of the first Man, Adam, man has been toiling the earth and working for food and survival. Since the fall of Eve, woman has been experiencing labour pains, menstrual cramps included, to produce offsprings.

So if somebody asked why do man work? Why do women have to go through labour pains? Blame it on the couple! Ok, then the question boils down to: why do women have to work and still go through labour pains? I don’t know.

This has nothing to do with my post though.

I have applied for a job to work in a school. Not as a teacher per se, I will die of noise and air pollution. Not as a canteen staff too, kids will die of food poisoning. Just a humble assistant teacher. Fits me just fine. I need to get off work early enough for lessons at night. But I have waited long enough for this job to come along, not that it is THE dream job. Just happened that they took awhile to launch the recruitment exercise and a little longer for the recruitment process. Well, I believe it will come pretty soon. I crossed my fingers for a pay check on 12 April, after six happy months.

Kickstarts the year with a New Hobby!

esarel — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 09:25:37 +0000

A truckload of ingredients, an array of non-stick pans and pots, accompanied with pretty plates and cutleries makes the kitchen alluring for once. It would be better if it’s open concept, like the ones I saw in cooking shows, with an island unit just for cutting, washing and a huge space to lay my chopped onions, my favourite ingredient so far.

I am thrown into a system of organised mess in this wide yet confined space. It’s an activity of oxymorons. A city-bred, office-girl in a humbled area of mixed smells, raging emotions and unstoppable perspiration. But of course, recipes off the internet (not moving away from the fact of being modern and bred in a city) plays a huge role in this process. It may sound simple but do not underestimate the power of choice. Choosing the correct recipe to suit your cooking styles and unique taste buds can be challenging. Over here, the budget comes in handy, narrowing down options to decisions.

So the menu of the day was, Buttered Sweet Corn, Provencal Style Mushrooms, French Onion Soup, Mayo-Infested Mashed Potato, Creamy Pasta with Bacon & Mushrooms, Dessert – Sara Lee Chocolate Swirl Pound Cake. Ain’t it a spread?

一首让我倾听的歌。

esarel — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 10:50:12 +0000

我坐在椅子上,看日出复活
我坐在夕阳里,看城市的衰弱
我摘下一片叶子
让它代替我
观察离开后的变化

曾经狂奔,舞蹈,贪婪地说话
随着冷的湿的心腐化

带不走的丢不掉的
让大雨侵蚀吧
让它推向我在边界
奋不顾身挣扎
如果有一个怀抱勇敢不计代价
别让我飞
将我温柔豢养

带不走的留不下的
我全都交付它
让它捧着我在手掌
自由自在挥洒
如果有一个世界混浊的不像话
原谅我飞
曾经眷恋太阳